Yesterday I was offically diagnosed with autism i had been suspecting for two years but never had the money to persue a diagnosis until recently. Im seeing a psychologist for autism related problems and I was diagnosed within one session with my psychiatrist who said I didn't need the official test because she was already convinced by my two page list of why I suspected I had autism. I really did not like my psychiatrist but thats fine because i only had to see her once! Luckily i like my psychologist a lot more which i do have to keep seeing. I never had any support reguarding my mental health and was told a couple times by my family that I couldn't have autism because they did all the same behaviors as me and they were "normal". I kept expecting some sort of pushback or questioning from the professionals reguarding my diagnosis but it seemed they were convinced right off the bat lol, didn't know it was that obvious to others. This will help me when i have bouts of imposter syndrome, I have the proof to convince myself its true which is what matters the most. Everything makes sense, everything fits, now i can focus on living around this. I wish there were some magical way to help me with public transport since i struggle with that the most in my life but i think the only solution to that is my bf getting a car for us which will take time and money. The psychiatrist said she thinks my biggest hurdle to work out with my psychologist is connecting with others and not making friends. she kept trying to force positivity down my throat about being autism and how being different is a superpower (super cringy) but I couldn't fake a smile at all. autism is a great detriment to my life, there's nothing positive from it. My health is bad, life is mostly uncomfortable, and I feel this incredible lonliness where I will never connect with any other human than my bf. Im okay being alone for the most part but i yearn really badly for a female friend i can connect with and have fun with no judgement. I try so hard to connect with other female autistics and it fails every time i always feel lower functioning than them and they always hold me to social norms. why care about those? I still think one day i will find her and i will keep trying i had one in my entire life and she ended up moving away and having kids, we never speak anymore. my goal in life is to find another and i can be happy. Im not asking for a lot, just one..